Holistic Philosophy Law Practice Mindfulness

The Role of Identity in Dealing With Divorce and Custody Litigation

In terms of legal disputes, clients appear to have the greatest psychological difficulty dealing with divorce and custody proceedings. This is of little surprise when one views these situations in the more holistic context of the individual’s adopted self-concept. Divorce and custody proceedings upset a wide range of the most central roles of individuals in our society including those of parent, spouse, and provider. In addition, divorce and custody disputes very often have real negative financial implications for the parties, potentially further eroding one’s fragile ego during this time.

The extent to which clients are able to successfully deal with these situations is largely a function of the extent to which he or she has come to identify with these roles as who he or she is, i.e., as forming the basis of a self-concept. Those who have come to consciously recognize these roles as such, instead of defining factors of who one is, may proceed through these challenges far less shaken as they remain grounded in a sense of being at one with life that extends far beyond him or her as an individual form.

In this way, legal challenges can provide unique opportunities to recognize the extent to which our conditioned reactions have been dictated by ego-identification with these roles and responsibilities as the providers of a “self” that the ego will vigilantly try to maintain during stressful and upsetting times.

To learn more about incorporating mindfulness into law practice in a way that facilitates this process, contact Attorney Michael Lubofsky at (415) 508-6263, or visit

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