Holistic Philosophy

Client Tip #3: Shed the Victim Mentality

The vast majority of legal problems share a common denominator: a sense that another has violated one’s sense of how things should be. If you are a party who believes you have been wronged, there may be a tendency to point towards the other as an example of the unfairness of life, or how others cannot be trusted. If you have been accused of wrongdoing, you may think of all the excuses or justifications for your behavior that demonstrate how this wrongdoing was not your “fault.”

In either case, you are squarely placing your focus on the external world over which you have minimal control. The ego thrives on this mentality to sustain its false sense of self. Having a clear external target, the ego can run rampant with thoughts of how “right” you are relative to the perceived offender, and in the process provide powerful, but illusory, support for your egoic sense of self.

The egoic sense of self, however, will never truly be at peace as it continuously scans your situation to identify further evidence of how right you are, and how wrong the other is, to nurture its survival. In the end, adoption of this victim mentality will serve not only to draw you further from your true, peaceful sense of self rooted in being, but will prevent you from identifying far more effective solutions to your present legal problems in which you might play an active role.

A holistic approach to legal problems works to extricate you from egoic thought that may be trapping you in a victim mentality. This can be done in a series of sessions in which you begin to cultivate heightened present-moment awareness. Through this process, you can begin to dis-identify from your thoughts and connect with a deeper sense of self rooted in being. You begin to realize that your actions need not be unconsciously dictated by thoughts of how you have been “wronged.” You come to better recognize and identify far more effective solutions to your legal problems in which you play an active role.

Most attorneys. however, will tend to feed your egoic “victim mentality” recognizing (perhaps through their own experience) that it makes you feel “good.” In fact, they are just adding fuel to further energize your false sense of self. In the process, the attorney is overlooking an opportunity to identify solutions that could help you long after your legal issues have been resolved.

To learn more about this holistic process, visit, or call Michael Lubofsky, Esq. at (415) 508-6263. To take a quick online assessment of whether the holistic process is right for you, visit

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